


I Don't Want People Judging Him

by iswyn



Series: The Taming of Tony [4]
Category: Iron Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Thor (Movies)
Genre: M/M, Protective Bruce Banner, Protective Jarvis, Science Bros, discussion of abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-01
Updated: 2014-07-01
Packaged: 2018-02-07 01:10:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,423
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1879347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iswyn/pseuds/iswyn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony and Bruce have a conversation about what happened the night before.</p>
<p>This is a companion piece to Impulse, so it'll be hard to follow if you're not reading that. It's the conversation that Loki refrained from spying on between Bruce and Tony.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Don't Want People Judging Him

**Author's Note:**

> This is the companion piece from Chapter 14, Tony's point of view.
> 
> I make no claim that Tony's point of view is either rational or sensible, it just is what it is.

I definitely wasn’t looking forward to having the conversation with Bruce.

Don’t get me wrong, I love Bruce. He’s a great guy, and if I want to talk about my problems to anyone, it’s him. The thing is, I knew it was something he was going to judge me for. Even worse, he was going to judge Loki. I know what you’re thinking, it’s Loki, why shouldn’t he be judged?

The thing is, in this case, just because of… aww, screw it. I don’t want people judging Loki. Even when this happened, I was starting to think that maybe all wasn’t as we thought with Loki. That maybe he wasn’t the man we all believed he was.

I mean, Thor had to believe in him for a reason, right? And Thor had known him for a lot longer than us. It’s easy to say that he’s changed and Thor doesn’t get it, but Thor’s not stupid or naïve. Maybe Loki isn’t the shining example of perfect morality, but really, who is? Even Captain-perfect-America isn’t really perfect. And it’s his middle name.

Anyway, back on subject.

There was no way Bruce was going to understand the choking thing. I know it was awful from an objective point of view, but… I don’t know. I wasn’t ‘asking for it’ or some battered woman thing like that, but I actually was trying to piss him off. It’s not like I accidentally burned dinner and he beat me senseless. I told him I wanted to fuck his brother.

God, I don’t believe I told him that. The fact that it’s totally untrue notwithstanding, it was bad, even for me. I don’t think I’ve ever pushed anyone away so hard before. Even when I was dying and trying to get everyone to distance themselves from me.

The second the elevator closed, Bruce was on it.

“He tried to kill you.”

“What? Yeah, sure, he tried to kill all of us.” I was deflecting. Sue me. I can afford it if you do.

“No, Tony, I mean last night. He tried to kill you last night. Your throat looks like a horror movie.”

“No he didn’t.” My stupid raspy voice was making it hard to deny, but I would deny it to anyone. I still honestly do not believe it.

“He choked you.” He didn’t even look at me, we both just stared straight ahead. It was like eye contact would have been too intimate for the conversation.

There was nothing that was going to make Bruce okay with it, unless I straight up said that I’d asked Loki to choke me. Now don’t get me wrong, I did. It’s just that I didn’t do it till after he choked me. That wasn’t going to work on Bruce.

Is there something wrong with me that I got off on him choking me? Jesus, I am so fucked up.

The only option that came close to making Loki look better was the truth. And I gotta say, the truth does not make me look good here. Bruce was gonna side with me no matter what, but I think there are people who wouldn’t. So where to begin?

Oh yeah, simple. “Yes.”

“Was is a sex thing?” Trust Bruce to read my filthy mind.

“It’s a complicated thing.”

“No, it’s not. Either you wanted him to choke you, or you didn’t. One is none of my business, and the other means he tried to kill you.” That was oddly black and white thinking for Bruce. He was just trying to protect me, though, so I couldn’t really complain.

So the truth was the only way out. “I told him I thought he was a lousy fuck, and his brother would be better.”

Bruce spun to stare at me. “That’s not funny.”

“Not a joke.” I couldn’t even bring myself to look at Bruce. Imagine that. I was telling the truth, and it was that embarrassing. “Not even an exaggeration. Maybe an understatement. The words ‘second Odinson’ might have been involved.”

“Did you want him to kill you? Were you checking to see if he still would?”

“Well if I was, he proved that he won’t.”

“He proved that he won’t kill you by trying to kill you again.” Bruce looked dubious.

“If he’d been trying to kill me, I’d be dead. I’d have been dead before anyone could have done anything, even me.” Okay, that hadn’t come out the way I’d intended. I really suck at persuasive speeches.

Bruce snorted. “And that’s supposed to make me feel better?”

“We’ve been together for more than a week, Bruce. If he had any desire to kill me, I’d be dead.” I did indeed actually believe that. It was a beautiful feeling, believing that someone’s intentions were exactly what they had told me they were. He wanted me. Jesus. Am I sappy, or is that fucking cool?

“What if it’s some involved scheme for revenge?” It was like Bruce was a replay of my thinking from the previous week. I had spent so much time obsessing on this that I could have had a day long conversation on it.

“It isn’t.” My certainty even showed in my voice.

“How do you know?” Bruce’s uncertainty was just as obvious.

The elevator door opened and he just stood there, waiting for my answer. Fortunately, I had one, no hesitation necessary. “I’ve given him every opportunity to get whatever revenge he wanted. He hasn’t used any of them.”

“Every opportunity?” Bruce looked at me disbelievingly.

“I’m sleeping with him, Bruce. Literally and figuratively. What could he not do to me?”

“Do you feel safe, after what he did last night?” Bruce seemed to think he had the trump card, there. Little did he know…

“Completely,” I told him without hesitation.

Bruce’s mouth literally fell open, and he stared at me for a minute. “You really are suicidal, aren’t you?”

“Come on, Bruce, he choked me for like three seconds. And then when he realized what he was doing, he called Thor to stop him.” That stopped Bruce short. It was rather the way I had felt at the time.

“He called Thor.” Bruce’s voice was a little flat, like he thought I was lying to him.

“Actually, he arranged with Jarvis ahead of time that if Jarvis thought he was hurting me, J would call Thor.” Take that, Bruce!

Bruce was still disbelieving. “You’re serious.”

“He is indeed, Sir,” Jarvis interjected. “Master Loki asked me on the night he arrived to contact Thor if I believed he was putting Master Anthony’s life in danger.”

“So you’re the one who decided to-”

“No Sir.” Jarvis flat-out interrupted. “I did not believe Master Anthony’s life in danger last night. Master Loki asked me specifically to call Thor.”

Bruce’s mouth fell open, and I admit it, I was a little surprised, too. I hid it.

“He was in no danger while being _choked_?”

“His vital signs were well within normal parameters. Sir has easily done more damage to himself with half an hour of drinking.”

“He was breathing?”

“At no point was Sir’s breathing completely cut off, and the entire incident lasted less than Sir’s indicated three seconds, Doctor Banner. One point seven eight seconds, to be exact.”

“What if he’d broken Tony’s neck?”

“The pressure wasn’t nearly enough for that, Doctor. I confess, though, if it had been, there would have been very little anyone could have done about it.”

“But he didn’t do it, Bruce. And he called Thor, knowing that Thor would take him back to prison in Asgard, where he’s been sentenced to spend eternity in a cell.”

Bruce went quiet. I was hoping that meant he was starting to get it. Then he threw me a curve ball. “You’re in love with him, aren’t you?”

“What? I’ve only known him a week, don’t be stupid.”

“You’re kidding, right? You’re Tony Stark. Don’t tell me that you don’t fall in love in a week. You trust him. You’re worried about him. You’ve given up drinking because of him. You’ve given up pretending that you’re not dating him, even though he’s a man. You’re in love with him.”

Goddamned Bruce, putting stupid shit like that in my head. How was I going to talk to Loki again, thinking about that? What if I accidentally said something about it? Jesus, what if I accidentally said it? Nope nope nope. I forced the L word out of my head, as violently as possible.

Tony Stark didn’t fall in love.


End file.
